The struggle is not always real

14 min readJul 15, 2020

Brown in America

I emigrated to the United States on September, 18, 2001. Exactly one week after 9/11. Born and raised in Egypt, I was 24 when I left my friends and family and everyone I knew behind, to start a new life.

My first three days of my new life were spent in a Secondary Security room at Chicago O’Hare Airport being questioned by some very angry border patrol officers. I had one meal a day. No phone calls. They wanted to know what my real intentions were.

A few months later, special registration started. Males, aged 18 to 50, from thirteen countries were to report to Special Registration Centers. They took my picture, and finger prints. I handed over my credit cards, phone contacts, and banking information for tracking. I was interviewed about my day to day activities, people in my phone, my work, and my family history. I was given a finger print identification number and instructed to carry it on me at all times. I was then instructed to come back every 30 days. This lasted for two years.

The next two decades are littered with scary experience of being brown in America. They range from the benign not-so-random security check, to the malicious border agent who revoked my visa on the way back from a business trip. I couldn’t go back to my home, my job, or my fiancee for a year.

I had picked a bad time to start a new life in America. But more on that later.

A powerful Ideology

Over the two decades I’ve lived here, I watched a powerful Idea spread amongst my friends, family and institutions.

As best as I can tell, it is a cocktail of Critical Race Theory, Intersectionality, Post Modernism and Identity Politics.

For the sake of brevity, let’s call it: The Ideology.

Here are some of the basic tenets of The Ideology:

Western society is primarily organized as a collection of dominance hierarchies.
Racism is hard-baked into society. It is unavoidable and present in every interaction to be discovered and called out. This is part of a systemic problem that is everywhere, always, and all-pervasive.
All white people are racist, and white people cannot be subjected to racism.
If you are white and successful, it’s primarily because society is structured to bestow you with unearned privilege.
If you are not white and not successful, it’s primarily because society is structured to keep you down.

I believe this Ideology was born from good intentions. It aims to create a socially just world. To honor and repair the wounds of our past. To include the disenfranchised, and marginalized. To call out and challenge systematic oppression, and take a stand for the dignity, access, and opportunity of all.

I wholeheartedly share these intentions.

I’ve also come to see this way of thinking as problematic and dangerous. It is based in a flawed worldview, and it perpetuates the very problems it aims to address.

Our society is far from just and there is plenty of work to be done. I am deeply grateful to the countless people who dedicate their lives to that work. It is also true, that there are far more nuanced and useful theories that guide social justice work than the tenets I highlighted. My intention is not to summarize or invalidate the entire field of social justice. What I want to do, instead, is highlight a problematic part of it.

To me, this Ideology hinders the real work of social justice. It alienates potential allies, polarizes view points, creates phantom issues, drowns nuance and stifles dialogue.

My True Advantage

Even though I am a brown, male, Arab immigrant, I have a huge advantage in life: I do not see the world through the lens of the Ideology. My parents didn’t raise me with the idea that the world is racist and set up against me. My friends and community did not train me to mistrust whiteness or any other color. My teachers did not sell me the idea of an invisible, pervasive force arrayed against me. In other words, I was not brought up with the lens of a victim.

When someone called me a smelly Arab and threw a rock at me, I did not expect it, or see it as evidence of a larger systematic problem. My brain did not catalogue the incident to confirm an existing mental bias. Instead, my worldview allowed me to take in the half dozen people who helped me up. They bought me drinks, and told me how appalled they were at that guy’s racism. One of them told me he volunteered on Fridays as extra security for the local mosque. These people left a bigger impression on me than the jerk with the rock.

When the cops came, the skeptical one who rolled his eyes didn’t leave as much of an impression as the other two. They seemed genuine and competent. My worldview allowed me to take in that they wanted to protect me. I felt safer and grateful.

I remember my first protest ever. Hundreds of thousands. All colors. Marching to protect people thousands of miles away. I’m not Iraqi. But I was touched. The handful of counter protestors cursing at me to go back to where I came from didn’t stand a chance of ruining the day.

You get the idea: How we see the world determines what we filter out, and what we let in. With different conditioning, I could have easily strung a series of painful incidents into concrete evidence of my continued oppression. But I didn’t. I wasn’t conditioned to.

Today, I have built a life that I am immensely proud of, with more blessings than I can count. Innumerable factors got me here: Good fortune, friends and family high on the list. I believe, however, that seeing the world as safe and arrayed for my benefit is my greatest privilege. I’m certain that, if I had been conditioned by the Ideology, I would not have half the life I have today.

Which is why I feel so sad and powerless watching this Ideology spread. I want what it wants. Justice and peace. But I don’t think it gets us there.

I’m taking a stand against it, and my hope is that you will join me.

A Different Worldview

The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others. ~ C.G. Jung

I would like to suggest a different set of ideas. I think they more accurately describe our world, and create firmer ground on which we can stand and work together. Try them on for size, if they fit, please keep them and pass them on.

Modern society is not a dominance hierarchy

From the point of view of The Ideology, hierarchies are about control, dominance, and “power over” others. This means all power differentials are unjust and oppressive by nature.

I believe, instead, that our society is made up of hierarchies based on competence not dominance. Competence hierarchies aim to enable, elevate and reward contribution to humanity. They do not seek to exploit it.¹

Competence hierarchies are a critical part of our society, and can be co-operative and generative. Instead of flattening them, we can work together to make sure they are effective and uncorrupted.

Yes, our institutions can be unjust and unfair, and have not rid themselves fully of the legacy of our past. But that does not mean they are designed to dominate and oppress. Yes, they can tend towards corruption and tyranny, but that is a bug not a feature. It is not their intended purpose, it is a distortion of it.

Instead of mistrusting and dismantling power, we should respect it, nurture it, and hold it accountable. Both without and within.²

Not all white people are racist

Assuming that Racism is defined as prejudiced attitudes and discriminatory behavior against others on the grounds of race: I’m against the idea that all white people are racist, and that white people cannot be subjected to racism.

Some would argue that, because we live in a society that advantages white people, any white-presenting person benefits from this. This makes them racist. Regardless of their beliefs or actions.

I think it’s a really bad idea to change what the word racism means. Changing the definition to an immutable characteristic unique only to white people is extremely harmful. It paints every white person as an agent of oppression and a representative of tyranny. It divides the world into victims and perpetrators. It trains people to see white skin as a personal affront. It elevates the saliency of skin color. It shames and alienates whites, and relieves non-whites from the admonition to not be prejudiced.

But when people are reduced to their identities of privilege (as white, cisgender, male, etc.) and mocked as such, it means we’re treating each other as if our individual social locations stand in for the total systems those parts of our identities represent. (source)

Let’s stop perpetuating the guilt-by-unintentional-participation-in-larger-systems argument.

The other claim to the-racism-of-all-white-people, is that everyone growing up in our society is unconsciously conditioned to elevate whiteness, and behave in prejudicial ways that benefit white people.

I agree that we have all been conditioned, and that everyone would benefit from our biases becoming more conscious and weeded out. But this is a feature of being human, not being white. And the conditioning is as varied as it is insidious.

People are responsible solely for their individual intentions, actions and impact. They are not responsible for things outside their control, or things that happened before they were born. No individual should be pre-judged based on their skin color.

In my view, the vast majority of white people are not racist.

Let’s find a different way to call attention to the very real problems that still exist, and to our collective responsibility to address them.

Racism is not everywhere, always.⁴

There is no denying that the US has had a horrific past. I think it’s critical that we are all deeply informed of it. The impact of this racist past continues to this day. Many (if not all) of the major structures, and institutions that exist today have their roots in a painful, traumatic, and unjust past. The impact goes deep and far, and if I had to guess, I would say the impact will last for decades, if not centuries to come. There is also, no denying that present day racism sill exists.

The Ideology, however, in its attempt to emphasize and deal with the past and point to its present day impact, often exaggerates the continuation of active racism today. It does a poor job of distinguishing the very real impact of past injuries that is felt today from continued present day injuries. Like the mind of a trauma victim, it projects the past on the present.

The question of “how do we properly acknowledge, address, repair, and heal our racist past” is a really difficult one. I don’t have anything resembling a good answer to this. I don’t know how we get there, but I think dropping the Ideology is a small but important part of the journey.

Distinguishing the very real impact of the past, from the active racism of today is critical.

Even though the impact of the past is everywhere, racism itself is not an impossible, invisible, all pervasive problem that we can never escape. It has been declining over time and becoming rarer³. Each individual and institution is perfectly capable of choosing not to hold racist views and should be expected to do so.

Privilege doesn’t dictate destiny

Explaining success (and excusing failure) as primarily a function of privilege, and privilege as primarily a function of race is a faulty and reductive world view.

For the ‘privileged’, their hard work and sacrifices are dismissed as a charade, and they are held responsible for everyone’s lot. For the ‘less privileged’, their hard work and sacrifices are dismissed as futile, and they are encouraged to abdicate personal responsibility and take on a victim consciousness. The Ideology promotes, in Thomas Sowell’s words, “The soft bigotry of low expectations”.

Yes, the game is rigged, and life is unfair. But the rigging and the injustice are not insurmountable, and do not dictate our destiny. Hung up on the past, the Ideology exaggerates present day obstacles, and obscures future possibilities.

Unequal outcome is not evidence of prejudice

The Ideology frequently infers that a lack of racial diversity in a group or its leadership is evidence of discrimination (or unconscious bias).

I agree that implicit bias and racism still exist in our world⁵. But it is simplistic and dangerous to assume they are the main factors at play whenever a room doesn’t mirror the racial makeup of society.

A majority white neighborhood, or an all white board is more likely a byproduct of historic inequities or demographics than present day racism. An all white camping trip may be as much the byproduct of culture as an all black pickup game.

Disparity is not sufficient evidence of discrimination.

Removing the disparity fallacy: the idea that inequality is the same thing as inequity will eliminate a lot of red herrings, and free up our energy to focus on real problems. No group should be vilified as systematically racist based solely on their racial composition.

The race of people in power is not the issue

If you believe the Ideology, the first things you’ve been trained to ask yourself when entering a room are: “Who is in power here? What color are they?” The answers to these questions will then largely determine your sense of safety, and belief that your interests will (or won’t) be represented.

This is a result of the false idea that power and privilege are the primary filters of political analysis, and that they are mainly represented by the race of the people in power.

I don’t think that, in order for someone to represent me, they need to be the same race as me. Any human being with sufficient integrity, empathy and wisdom can represent my needs and interests. I like the old fashioned notion that we should see one another as humans first and members of a race second (or maybe last).

It’s OK to disagree with the Ideology.

The Ideology views disagreement as evidence of ignorance, defensiveness, white privilege, white fragility, unconscious bias and racism (internalized racism if you’re not white). Opposition, or nuance are in themselves a form of prejudice.

I believe that no theory should be above criticism. Disagreement in a civil society should be judged by its content, not pre-judged by its context. Any theory that refuses to submit itself to criticism or refutation eliminates healthy debate, and discourages nuance. It is dogma, not scholarship.⁶

The Ideology is the wrong tool to address racism

A possible criticism of my arguments is that I’m building a simplistic straw man of a much more complicated world view.

I am not drawing a caricature. I am pointing out one that already exists. These tenets are in play. They are out there, being repeated, and gaining traction.

I’m not attempting to dismiss the nuanced world views, my aim is to make room for them.

Inquiry around cultural and racial issues needs humility, an open mind, and a courageous heart. The Ideology falls very short of that. It is arrogant, closed minded and cold hearted. We need a creative, rigorous, and nuanced approach instead of a rigid, sloppy, and crude one.

To my friends with darker skin impacted by the Ideology:

I believe this Ideology feeds on our pain and anger, and weaves itself with our very sense of self. It sets us up to see anyone who questions the narrative of our disempowerment as dismissing our pain and challenging who we fundamentally are. It paints those who don’t buy it as woefully ignorant at best, dangerous and disloyal at worst. Like any dogma, it demonizes those who don’t agree with it, painting them as denying our very existence by invalidating our experience and continuing the legacy of oppression.⁷

I regret standing by and allowing these false narratives to spread without speaking up.

I have been too frightened to be seen as dismissing your pain and incurring your wrath. I was worried you might be convinced that I’m ignorant or dangerous if I don’t share your worldview. In trying to honor who you truly are, I pretended to agree with who you think you are. In trying to have compassion for your pain, I swallowed my truth. In trying to remain loyal to our friendship, I betrayed it.

This ends today. I think this way of viewing the world hurts us. I’m angry that I once believed it. I’m angry that it might be coloring your view.

The world is not set up against us. It is a tragedy that our children are being taught to see the world as primarily rigged and dangerous. Told to see white people as ignorant, privileged and prejudiced. To see their own bodies as not belonging to them.

Let’s stop repeating that. Why, when we want to feel safe in the world, do we tell scary stories?

I believe most people are good, and want what is best for us. Our experiences are valid, but the narrative that is woven of them is not always accurate.

The struggle is not always real. Sometimes it is our indoctrination into a disempowerment narrative, projected onto a blessed world rife with opportunities.

To my friends with lighter skin impacted by the Ideology:

I don’t believe you are racist. Or that you are responsible for the ills of our world. I don’t believe that your successes are largely a result of systemic privilege, or that your pain should take a back seat. I don’t believe whiteness is a sin, or a privilege, or a burden. Or really a thing. I don’t believe you should talk less, or listen more. I don’t believe you owe me, or anyone else anything. I don’t believe your ancestors were bad people. I no longer believe any of this, and my hope is that you don’t as well.

My experience is that you are exactly like me. Flawed, but fundamentally good. I’ve experienced you as kind, open hearted, and fiercely devoted to our world. You’ve taken me in, loved me, befriended me, and supported me. You’ve inspired me. You are my teachers, healers, friends and colleagues. You are my wife, and my two beautiful sons.

I love you exactly as you are and am so grateful for you.

My wish for all of us

May we heal the pain and trauma of our past with dignity and grace as we forgive easily and swiftly.

May we receive the heritage of our parents and ancestors with pride and dignity. May we stand on their shoulders and transform what they couldn’t with infinite fierceness and compassion.

May we take full responsibility for our lives and challenge our loved ones to do the same, as we release all notions of victimhood, guilt, and entitlement.

May we know the beauty of our color, and everything that lies beneath, as we take a stand for the basic goodness and innocence of all beings.

May we see the world unfiltered: abundant in allies, resources, and love. All waiting in the wings to be noticed and claimed.

May we enjoy the blessings of our lives, and the fruits of our labor without guilt or shame, as we work to serve those less fortunate than us.

May we honor and remember our past, as we move on from it.

May all our struggles be real.

Update May 21st

If you’ve read this far, I hope you’ll watch this discussion below with William Winters. We go into many of the issues discussed above. I’m going to have to re-write the whole thing after this!

Notes

¹ Dominance hierarchies still exist in modern society, but are in no way the primary organizing principle. In my view, one of the triumphs of modern society is the progressive resistance, dismantling and reduction of tyranny. It is nowhere near perfect, but it does this better than any other large scale society in the history of humankind.

² When power is believed to be inherently bad it is disowned both within and without. Disowned power is the root cause of victim consciousness at the heart of all drama. This is why wherever The Ideology goes, drama follows.

³ This is tricky business: It is important to acknowledge that we’ve come a long way and if a single life is still being lost to present day racism, then it’s not yet time to celebrate.

⁴ For example, pumpkins and jogging are now claimed to racist.

⁵ There’s some evidence that implicit bias tests are flawed.

⁶ Another mainstay of dogma, is some version of the position “you are either with us, or against us.” The Ideology insists that you can’t be neutral. If you don’t share its world view, and work actively within its belief framework, then you are part of the problem.

⁷ A dangerous side effect of a dogmatic idea is that it insulates its believers from disagreement. When the cost of disagreement becomes too high healthy debate is stifled. Without a heterodoxy of ideas, dogma deepens and the echo chamber is sealed.

Voices from outside the Ideology echo chamber